Dec 19, 2017
How to succeed. #KnowyourWHY is sooo last year.
Oct 3, 2017
Your #Diet is more than just food. What else are you taking in...?
Aug 29, 2017
4 Reasons You are not getting what you want:
Aug 16, 2017
Traffic, #TRUTH, and Big-boy pants...
Sometimes I catch myself slipping, settling... even feeling down. In truth, it scares me when this happens.
But.... I learned to override my fear by asking myself the tough questions.... Have a listen:
Aug 9, 2017
#Daytrade (your words) for success in Business, Sport, and LIFE.
May 11, 2017
13 Ways to LIE to yourself.
#13Ways To Lie
Below is a list of things we tell ourselves to tolerate the dissonance we experience re: Reaching and hitting our #goals, being more #happy, living more fully. The Ugly #truth is... the lies we tell ourselves become our reality.
1. I am too old/young.
2. It's not possible.
3. I am not ready.
4. I will fail (or succeed?!).
5. I have no time/There is no time.
6. I am not good enough.
7. I need to be realistic.
8. I need more money.
9. I have tried everything.
10. "My" situation is different.
11. My family is just "big boned."
12. I never #win.
13. It takes money to make #money.
If any of these sound familiar to you - either because you've heard them or said them - fear not. Our brains are designed to keep us alive and protect us physically, emotionally, and psychologically.
Excuses are not results. Failure is okay. Losing is okay. Not stepping up to the plate, not playing all in, NOT entering the game, or even signing up is tragic!
My mission is to help you reengineer your success by teaching you the language and actions top performers use in #sport, #business, and life. Once this is mastered, you will realize that the successes you want will come to you as soon as you truly begin to move toward them - and it begins with #BELIEF.
Apr 5, 2017
Fit and Finish
You may have heard me say, "You can make a living beating people better than you!"...
I say that because that's how I made my wares as a professional athlete. When I seek out training for myself, I do not want to be the best in the room! When I conduct a Corporate Training, I am acutely aware of not only the talent and knowledge of those whom I am training, but also the FACT that there are other, possibly BETTER choices.
So... why am I telling you to look for someone better than me? Well, I don't need to tell you that because if you are looking for a corporate trainer or speaker, you are looking for someone who suits your teams wants, needs, and expectations. Hopefully, they also align with the character, values, and mission.
As a pro athlete, I learned early on that I didn't need to be the best to beat the best. It was about executing a very specific plan that accentuated my strengths and minimized my weaknesses. EVERYTHING was in progress during training, practice, and competition. Every race prepared me for the next. It was when I thought I had it all figured out... or when I wasn't necessarily challenged; that I found myself struggling.
I was at my best when I was working at being the best, NOT when I thought I was the best.
How many times have we seen a professional team hire "the best" athlete, only to have an underwhelming season? How many times have we been surprised by the fact that "the best" statistical analysis led us down the wrong path... #Election2016, #NFLplayoffs, #FinalFour...? On paper, that investment should have been golden. On paper, that team should have won. On paper, that expert should have predicted X was going to happen.
The right person, may not be the best. The best person, may not be right.
As we all know (though may not practice), finding the right fit is more important than finding the best... whatever it is you are looking for. On the surface, sure, a Mercedes AMG, a Coach purse, or those trendy cupcakes or cookies everyone waits in line for may be the "best". But, in truth, once experienced, they may be unreliable, overrated, or just not that good. In TRUTH, what may be best for you, is that classic 911, a $40 tote bag, and the donuts from the Chinese lady who only takes cash.
There are many ways to be, show, and HAVE success.
As a #CorporateTrainer and #Speaker, I DO NOT pretend to know more about YOUR #business than you do. Your company has a mission. Your team has goals. Your organization has a culture. And mostly, I am guessing you not only want to win, but win in a way that meets your goals, satisfies your mission and suits the culture.
It's about fit and finish.
P.S. There is value to your feeling inadequate amongst other high achievers. The trick is to allow yourself to rise to the occasion and the company. It's a great opportunity to learn and practice humility.
Mar 24, 2017
Stop wasting energy!
Let's get right to it...
You may have heard from me, "Feelings are fuel."
I truly #believe you can perform at your best despite how you feel.
That said, all of us at some time or another have found ourselves wishing we had more in the tank by the end of the day, the competition, or the family get together.
Here are 4 energy zappers that keep us from the winner's circle more often:
Worrying - What are you worrying about? Odds are it is about some future event or outcome that has not happened yet. Concern is good. That keeps you in the NOW. Worry, however, tends to stop forward progress by killing the present moment. The key here is to MAKE TIME to address your concern. Then DO SOMETHING about it.
Comparing - Insert the "greener grass" cliche here! The opposite of gratitude is NOT ungratefulness... it's COMPARING! Take inventory of what you DO HAVE. No one is asking you not to pay attention to the competition or the lay of the land. Checking-up is part of the game but comparing yourself is always a losing battle. It is your duty to create and nurture your own sense of self!
Complaining - Full disclosure... I was guilty of this and it was my achilles heel for many years early on in my Pro Athlete days. Sure there were unfair rules, bad venues, and shady promoters. There was also someone who was going to win and several who were going to be watching on the sidelines come finals time. My complaining kept my eyes off of the task at hand. It also casted a negative (and often hopeless) light my chosen profession. In other words, the constant complaining only wore me down and made me bitter... not better.
Making things Complicated - I have just one word... GOLF! Yes, golf! I do not play. However, as complex as the game is, the objective (as I understand it) is this. Hit the ball in to the hole in as few strokes possible. Yet, how many apps, do-hickies, gadgets, straps, clubs, handles, measurers, DOLLARS, are spent in trying to do this? No disrespect to the game. IT IS HARD. But, I see this in other sports, in the boardroom and the classroom. I swear... learning the "tools" that organize and streamline take more time and waste more energy than just getting right to it. PUT THE BALL IN THE HOLE, Y'ALL!
**Fighting (the wrong fights) - This one gets a asterisks because we tend to do this, when we are guilty of Worrying, Complaining, Comparing, and Making things Complex.
For instance... I have been wanting to engage my list for some time. BUT, I didn't.
Then, when I started to think about it, I worried about what I would say, how to automate it, would there be a call to action... blah blah.
So, then.... I complained - Only after my first automation attempt (recall the Listen up and Level up email with NO content?)
Thus, I wasted time and energy fighting the wrong fight(s).
The point of me engaging you is to offer you something YOU CAN USE TO MAKE YOUR LIFE BETTER.... PERIOD!!! <-- (ironic use of word and punctuation)
Rather than worrying about X, and complaining about Y;
Or making things complicated with all this BS (sound familiar?) in my head about email lists;
Instead of battling with systems and funnels...
I decided to talk to you, as I always have. Because THAT is what I do!
What is it you want to do?
Your Author, Speaker, Mindset Coach
P.S. Bringing me in for your next Corporate Training or Speaking engagement is super simple. Just contact me via this website and we can get started!!
July 13, 2016
Flawed to Perfection
In sport, we often hear things like, “He is a machine”, or, “Be a soldier” and it's great rhetoric in the arena. However, the reason why those old Rocky movies resonate so much is because he is human. Rocky broke through despite his flaws.
.....Or maybe, Rocky's flaws allowed him to break through?
Every time you do something new you are growing new neurons. Skill development is not just about getting better at whatever it is you (want to) do; it is also about growing you.
You are not a machine - and if you are a soldier (IRL) - Thanks for your service! All of us, however, are better than machines. Your brain is more Nimble, Agile, & Adaptable than you think. You don't have to be bound by rigid rules. Choose to become guided by a range of #values and fundamentals. Your character and conviction is what's ultimately appreciated and rewarded.
When you STEP UP to...
...#SPEAK, PRESENT, INFORM, TEACH, COMPETE, #ENTERTAIN, CARE, #LOVE, FIGHT, LISTEN, SUPPORT, #LEAD, FOLLOW, #LEARN, INTERACT, HAVE FUN OR JUST PLAIN GET IT ON....BRING ALL OF WHO YOU ARE TO THE ARENA! IT IS REQUIRED.
THE WHOLE PERSON CROSSES THE FINISH LINE, NOT JUST HIS/HER TALENTS.
As an exercise, write down how your “perceived shortcomings” have actually helped you in the past. What did you do to push through? What beliefs did you have about you or what you were doing that allowed you to keep moving forward?
Find your #GRIT and play BIG! #GoldMedalMindset
Apr 4, 2016
Probability or Possibility
There was a time when people celebrated each other’s good fortune. Seeing a buddy, or even a stranger, achieve a dream made us want to go after our dreams. It was an inspiration, not an occasion for sour grapes.
If we are following social or traditional media, we see an “us vs. them” theme in many stories and threads. Unfortunately, the evidence suggests there are a growing number of people who revel in the misfortune of others, their “epic fails,” if you will. If those numbers aren’t growing, they at least seem to be getting more (media) play. What happened to the hardened newsmen that wept the Hindenburg went down, and when JFK was shot? A "rich-people" blimp falling from the sky in flames was not a fail. It was a tragedy regardless of how privileged those involved may have been. How did it become so “zero-sum,” where someone else’s success means we are somehow losing?
Your neighbor getting a new car, a friend landing his dream job, and a former co-worker’s startup going public means good things ARE possible – not unobtainable. In a world of limited resources, one might think "there is only so much of the pie to go around, so better grab your sliver." In a world of unlimited possibilities we bake bigger, and better pies. People pushing forward actually expands our resources. Economic pundits might say wealth is created. I think that statement is incomplete. Wealth is created, but it is also earned, and yes, inherited – if not by birthright, then definitely through work-right!
Yes, not everyone will become a yacht owner, #Olympic Medalist, or #Nobel Prize winner. These are awards, which only a small percentage of people earn. There are people who are all-too-happy to tell you the improbability of your goals, wants, and dreams. The rub is that you won’t likely hear the doubt coming from the haters. It sometimes comes from the people you care about most. They don’t want to see you struggle, or waste your time with something impractical or “unrealistic”. It’s your loved ones way of saying, “Be careful! It's your parents saying (in the back of their mind), “I’ve go to make sure this kid can make a living for himself, he can’t live here forever!” It ‘s not necessarily doubt that is coming from your loved ones - it’s care, albeit fear based. Nonetheless, the “problems” with an idea seem to get pointed out more than the solutions.
The problem with saying “the problem is”… is it rules things out rather than rules things in: Someone might say: “The problem with wanting to be a professional athlete is the chance of injury.” Or: “The problem with attending graduate school is the cost. There are no jobs out there anyway!” Or: “The problem with running for president is the dirty politics.”, and on and on...
But!!! What worthwhile things in life are problem-free? Maybe “the problem” is not a problem at all. Maybe those perceived problems are merely steps along the way. Maybe the problem is a project?
There are a multitude of individuals, #teams, and enterprises in this world advancing in their endeavors despite the so-called problems associated with their respective goals. What if that individual, team, or enterprise were you?
Feb 23, 2016
"...But MY situation is different!"
It may very well be... your situation that is. But, I doubt this is the case. You are different, sure. You have something special to offer the world, sure. Your story, experiences, genetics, and upbringing all play in to your "secret sauce" - yes! And, I believe all of the above as well as hang my hat on helping others #leverage their respective sauces. That said... the situation is not necessarily different.
Without getting too political, I saw a video (an old one) where Joe Biden was urging the President Bush to NOT appoint a supreme court justice due to the imminent election cycle. Here we are a few election cycles later and the now Veep, Biden and #POTUS, Obama are wanting to get a new person appointed... exactly what Biden was urging against years later. Again, this is not about making a political statement. This is about making a statement on how WE ALL CROSS THE PROVERBIAL BRIDGE when we get to it. Meaning, because of our above stated experiences, genetics, #stories, upbringings, differences, and specialties, we assume "our" situation is different than "their" situation.
I don't mean to cast a black and white cloak over complex issues and I do understand the importance of context. It is curious, though - that for as long as I can remember, and according to the articles and video I have pulled up before my time - the people who find themselves in situations where "they would/would've handled differently" - don't.
Yet, here we are. We generally live longer, eat better (if not, more!), travel further, run faster, hold our breaths longer etc. Could it be that the human #brain is somehow wired for conflict?
The answer: YES!
This is why we have achieved and advanced (some would argue against the use of that word) so much in the world. This is also most likely why we still argue about the same issues (economical, #political, #racial, familial, etc.) today. Our internal/external conflicts drive us to act or not act. When the external conflict does not match up with our internal conflict (Joe Biden) example above, the brain goes to work in doing what it does best - making things match up so we can keep our sanity or #dignity, justify a decision, or protect our ego.
But I don't do what they do... because "MY" situation is different.
Feb 17, 2016
Recalibrate with Language
Apple’s “Think Different” campaign of the late 1990s was powerful not because it changed the public’s image of Apple (though it did). It was powerful because it changed Apple’s image of Apple. Actually, it enhanced Apple’s image of itself at a time they needed it most. Grammatically, “Think Different” is definitely fringe territory. From a belief system standpoint, I'll use “Think Perfect.”
Words have weight. Using phrases such as “have to,” “got to,” and “need to,” are like adding weights to the already heavy loads you lift in Business, Sport, and Life. Referring to our past with words like “woulda,” “coulda,” and “shoulda” shackle us to our past failures. The words “will” and “going” both beg the question: “When?”
The Rules are already in place for all of the games you play, and there are laws for every facet of life. If you choose to participate in either, then, for the most part, the things you "have to", "got to", and "need to" do are implicit in the rules of the game. Ultimately, if you choose to play, it’s because you want to, like to, and can.
Rather than would, could, or should - let’s just say “haven’t yet”, or “learned to/learned not to.” Can you do that?
But, Before you answer...
“I am” is much more powerful than “I will,” or “I’m going to.” If you must use “will” or “going to,” specify when you will and when you are going to. There is a big difference between, “I will become #1” and “I am becoming #1.”
Have a mentor, friend, or teammate police your words. Learning to be more specific when you talk about your future or NOW self raises the stakes in your brain (and mind). The best way for the brain to deal with this dissonance (raised stakes) is to either get that stuff done and/or make shorter (tighter) lists. Either way, this slight shift in perspective changes the way you play your game.
Feb 1, 2016
One can be #happy AND #successful.
Jan 28, 2016
#Athlete Rule # 1 - One day, YOU WILL stop getting paid to be you
Jan 25, 2016
Having It All.
Normally my posts are more outwardly focused. However, I felt compelled to share some thoughts about my weekend... It was perfect! Why?
As the picture shows, it was full of the family, friends, and activities with both. More importantly activities ALL OF US would choose to do in our free time. One of my favorite Authors/Consultants says, and I paraphrase, "Wealth is having the ability to do what you want to do with your discretionary time." This saying resonated with me not so much because of the sense it makes, but more so because of the wisdom and scalability. Meaning there is a slight checks and balances written between the lines.
Basketball tournaments with the kids, black tie events with my wife, riding my bikes - two disciplines (BMX/MTB), and yes...even getting the garage and house sorted before Monday all proved to be a very "rich" experience.
When I am keynote speaking, conducting a training, or even working 1:1, most people think of "having it all" in terms of money and things. If they are not thinking in terms of money and things, then the next place they generally go to is "what they don't have". Be sure, I would be disingenuous if I said I don't want for anything - because I do want! I want for my family. I want for my clients. And, I want for myself. Money, things, "stuff", experiences... I want all of those things for those with whom I am in contact. BUT here is the punchline:
If we can appreciate what we already have AND focus on experience(s), then the money, things, "stuff" are just tools to have more experiences. Hopefully those experiences are with those whom you love and like as well.
Jan 12, 2016
The Problem With Saying, "The Problem Is..."
The problem with saying “the problem is”… is it rules things out rather than rules things in: Someone might say: “The problem with wanting to be a professional athlete is the chance of injury.” Or: “The problem with attending graduate school is the cost. What is it going to DO for you?” Or: “The problem with running for president is the dirty politics.” You get the idea. But, what worthwhile things in life are totally problem-free? Maybe “the problem” is not a problem at all. Maybe those perceived problems are merely steps along the way. There are a multitude of individuals, teams, and enterprises in this world advancing in their endeavors despite the so-called problems associated with their respective goals. What if that somebody were you?
Dec 1, 2015
Not Everyone Gets a Trophy...
Self-Esteem is not enough. But YOU are!
Excerpt from Ch. 6 "It's All BS! We're All Wrong, And You're All Right!":
Having high self-esteem does not guarantee great results. There are plenty of incarcerated felons with an inflated self-view. Meanwhile, extremely successful people are known to grapple with a more moderate self-concept.Self-esteem, while highly regarded and often warranted, is not necessary to produce achievement. You, however, are necessary to produce achievement!
Characteristics that are detrimental to an individual and society as a whole include high self-esteem coupled with no appreciable skills or individuals’ beliefs that they can’t truly accomplish anything. If you wonder how this is developed, just drop in on any organized youth ball game. Some “recreational” leagues will stop keeping score if the point spread becomes too big. In other leagues, no score is kept, and everyone is given a trophy.
Or, how about modern birthday parties? A child is invited to another person’s home to celebrate someone else’s life yet becomes upset because there weren’t any party favors. In a society where everyone receives a trophy, a rude awakening indeed comes when some kids later realize that some of those trophies were not actually earned. Once these kids reach the marketplace as young adults, the slap in the face is more profound if all they rely on is how good they feel about themselves versus what value they can provide.
Just being there definitely isn’t enough in high-stakes competition. Just being there isn’t enough at most places of employment. At least people acknowledge your presence in professional sports, but I’m not so certain there are fans lined up when you arrive for your first day at Cubicles-R-Us. Regardless of your job description or your station on the work, play, and life continuum, it’s all high stakes. What do you bring to the table? What’s your contribution? Just being there is easy. Showing up requires having “skin in the game.”
The sleight of hand we want to watch for is when self-esteem replaces self-efficacy. Esteem places emphasis on how one is feeling; efficacy places emphasis on what one is capable of doing. Both high self-esteem and high self-efficacy are encouraged, but if pushed to choose, bet on efficacy every time. Thinking you can and believing you are able is a much better formula for success than just feeling good about oneself. In many cases, it may not feel good to do good; this is where the leaders separate themselves from the rest of the pack. In a family, it is the parents who keep their children at home when all the “other kids” are going to the party. In athletics, it’s the veteran who knows when his time is up rather than continuing to suit up. In business, it’s the person who has the heart to tell a partner or coworker the truth rather than what they want to hear.
In dealing with success and failure, the meaning we attach to both is more important than actually failing or succeeding and the frequency of those occurrences. This is why earned success is important. Those earned outcomes help us derive meaning out of what we do, why we do it, and what we get out of it; however, letting outcomes define who you are detracts from the richness of your experiences. For instance, one can lose and not be a loser. One can be victimized and not be a victim. In work, play, and life, there is a “you’re only as good as your last deal/finish/test” mentality as things become competitive. Sadly, this B.S. may have begun as a motivator but ultimately disenfranchises us from our potential because it becomes too much about the result and not enough about the task at hand.
Carol Dweck, author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, reminds us to focus on the effort. Place value in the work and personal gains made as you move forward. Think of yourself as continually developing or becoming. Feeling good (self-esteem) and doing good (self-efficacy) do not always coincide. Championship moments begin before you accept the check or stand on the podium. I hope those moments extend well beyond you stepping off the stage and cashing your last check. You are enough, my friend. The question you need to answer is, “Do you believe you’re enough despite how you feel at this very moment?”
 Ervin Staub. (1986). A conception of the determinants and development of altruism and aggression: motives, the self, and the environment. In: Carolyn Zahn-Waxler et al. (eds.) Altruism and Aggression. pp. 135-164. [Online]. Cambridge Studies in Social and Emotional Development. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press. Available from: Cambridge Books Online <http://dx.doi.org/10.1017/CBO9780511752834.007> [Accessed 06 April 2015].
 Martin V. Covington, “Making the Grade: A Self-Worth Perspective on Motivation and School Reform.”
Nov 21, 2015
With Whom are you Competing?
Gratitude is a great way to fertilize the brain, setting the stage for what we really want...and need!
Gratitude helps to create room for new stuff to take root, as it is an essential part of “building new neurological connections” and readies us for our dreams to be realized. (Gratitude also helps us be in the moment!).
“Learn to take pleasure in seeing other people get what they want. Even when you compete, be happy for those who win. Your feelings about a specific result don’t have to be a measure of how you feel about yourself. That person who won is also the person helping you become better. “ - #ItsAllBSBook Ch. 11
You have an arch-rival…. I know you do!
- Contact this person and congratulate this person on his/her most recent success.
.....Yes, this may require you to get over yourself!